Insomnia a bit earlier than usual
Usually I wake up around 3, 3:30 in the morning when I can't sleep.
I find that having a sleeping mask helps a great deal but I've misplaced my dollar store bought mask. Still, now I have a fridge , courtesy of my mom's best friend who's lend it to me, so I can buy some milk for those difficult nights.
I re-read my previous posts and it's refreshing to remind one's self of one's habits to work at eradicating them. I realize that I was starting the same whiny shit again. Of course what is keeping me up at night is back to school blues. Again things are not necessarily panning out for me the way I envisioned them. I spoke too much and too soon (my recurring bad habit which I am reprimanding myself about WHILE I am doing it). I am not in the fabrics class and I might not be able to EVER get in. I dropped two classes this semester because I wasn't sure that I was getting loans. Now I am a month late on the one class I kept and lost most motivation, plus I am thinking of dropping my three other classes next semester to minimize debt because I want to stop school for two years and pay off my 30000$ debts.
Again, I am not motivated by work, actually REALLY quite fed up with it but, being the procrastinating uninspired person I am, I can't seem to wrap up my personal book project to see if i could get another venue for funds and less customer service. A co-worker suggested I apply for office work. I probably should around March/April to get established during summer at full time before I ask for part-time for school. Or maybe not because I want to pay off my debts. Yeah...
Anyways, I really need to stop talking about school to people. My life is NOT hard, fuck. Most importantly, they don't care!
I find that having a sleeping mask helps a great deal but I've misplaced my dollar store bought mask. Still, now I have a fridge , courtesy of my mom's best friend who's lend it to me, so I can buy some milk for those difficult nights.
I re-read my previous posts and it's refreshing to remind one's self of one's habits to work at eradicating them. I realize that I was starting the same whiny shit again. Of course what is keeping me up at night is back to school blues. Again things are not necessarily panning out for me the way I envisioned them. I spoke too much and too soon (my recurring bad habit which I am reprimanding myself about WHILE I am doing it). I am not in the fabrics class and I might not be able to EVER get in. I dropped two classes this semester because I wasn't sure that I was getting loans. Now I am a month late on the one class I kept and lost most motivation, plus I am thinking of dropping my three other classes next semester to minimize debt because I want to stop school for two years and pay off my 30000$ debts.
Again, I am not motivated by work, actually REALLY quite fed up with it but, being the procrastinating uninspired person I am, I can't seem to wrap up my personal book project to see if i could get another venue for funds and less customer service. A co-worker suggested I apply for office work. I probably should around March/April to get established during summer at full time before I ask for part-time for school. Or maybe not because I want to pay off my debts. Yeah...
Anyways, I really need to stop talking about school to people. My life is NOT hard, fuck. Most importantly, they don't care!
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