I got the pictures of the beach from last summer and they made me realize something that had been nagging for some time; that i couldn'nt quite pin down.
I have more in common to Severus Snape than I thought. Other than the fact that i experienced my own "Severus"'s in highschool and Uni; They were fucking mean bitches and I regrettably was a Hufflepuff Neville. There's the fact that i am ugly as he is. No it's not just being "unphotogenic" 'cause i have had the horror of being complemented on my facial features or the quality of the pics, when they were damn horrible. You see i don't see myself the same way as everybody does (and i'm sure it is so for the most of us) but it's damn insulting when you see yourself a bit in a plainer way and then are faced with the ugly truth of the photo when people say it looks like you and that it's a good picture. DAMN INSULTING. So yes, i finally admitt nad really realized that i'm damn ugly, just like Severus, with my big wide nose, small black beedy eyes, fat lips and a face devoid of decent bone structure. Like Severus, the nose is the most distinct feature of my face and a wig ain't gonna save me, just like his fabulous hair doesn't save him in the least.
And what sucks more is that i'm damd unpopular, unlike Severus. But I am surrounded by gorgous people just like he is, so i do understand his frustrations, alhought i have yet to discover my own 'potions mastery' something that does help in taking the mind off of how sucky your life is....Althought i ahve to honestly say that mine isn't that sucky except for the fact that i don't know how i have to courage to show my ugly face to the owrld nad enjoy myself as well as accepting the fact that romance and love won't be for me and that I won't ever have children. I won't find no Harry, no Remus, no Sirius...no love because like the Dungeon Master i am always in the shadows, observing.
How I have beautiful friends, i do not know. They are beauties and i am the Beast.
music: Bittersweet Symphony
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